


Bone War I

by Auntgrandmad



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-31 01:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auntgrandmad/pseuds/Auntgrandmad
Summary: Dean and Castiel have started a war with each other. One that consists of mini skeletons, spider webs, and other miscellaneous Halloween decorations. Only one soldier will reign victorious in this decorating war, and it’s not the one who cries at even the thought of being touched by a spider web.





	Bone War I

Dean Winchester loves Halloween and everything it entails. Luckily for him, so does his boyfriend. Even before October hit, Dean and Castiel found themselves in the holiday section of every store that had spooky decorations for sale. 

Usually they just looked, until Cas happened across an adorable skeleton. It was small, and holding a flower with a tiny bee perched on top. Dean wanted to protest, because "who the hell needs a twenty-dollar skeleton!" Then Cas looked at him with an enamored twinkle in those baby blues of his, and Dean seemed to forget he was upset in the first place. 

That one skeleton started the feud happening in the Winchester/Novak household. Cas immediately came home and placed the little guy in the center of their living room mantel. Dean, of course, wanted to move it because "you can't just put decorations wherever. Other things go on the mantel, Cas." So, Castiel moved the skeleton without complaint. 

Dean found it a day later on top of the monitor in his office. Cas found it that night on his pillow. But, it was finding the skeleton in the spice cabinet the next morning that prompted Dean to buy one of his own. This spiraled into the house being filled with twenty skeletons by two soldiers intent on being the winner of what Dean is calling "Bone War I." 

Dean thought he was ahead when he got their puppy, Salem, to drag skeletons to Cas while he was working one night. Cas, though, has the upper hand after somehow managing to fill Dean's entire car with skeletons. He should know that no one messes with Baby. So, now, it's really on; and Dean has a plan. 

The sound of Castiel's alarm fills the room early this Friday morning. He rolls over and flops his arm and leg simultaneously over Dean's sleeping form, groaning into his neck. Dean chuckles and reaches up to pat Cas' back. "Alright, up and at 'em babe. I'll make breakfast," he announces. 

Cas slowly tilts his head up to look Dean in the eye. "What's with you?" he asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

Dean tries to bite back his excitement for the day, and just smiles fondly at the messy haired man on his chest. "What? Can't make you breakfast?"

Cas makes a sound Dean can only describe as a scoff, as he pulls himself up in bed. "Sure. After coffee. Pardon me if I'm skeptical of your motives, but normally waking you is like punching a bear in the nose. This is the most you've spoken to me before coffee in...well, years." Dean just shrugs. Cas furrows his brows at him and slides off the bed. 

Dean watches Cas move towards the bathroom, and the second he hears the door shut he reaches for his phone. A quick text to his best friend, Charlie, and the plan is in motion. He hops out of bed and fights every piece of himself that wants to join Castiel in his shower, knowing he has to get him out of the house as soon as possible today. He does, however, stop to sneak a peek of him undressing. So what? Cas is hot, and Dean can put his plans on pause for a second. Especially if it means seeing those sharp hip bones, and the ripple of his muscles as he bends to remove his boxers. Okay, so he takes more than a second. Sue him. 

Cas smirks as he turns to catch Dean staring. "What happened to breakfast?" 

Dean can't stop the fire crawling up his neck onto his cheeks as his eyes rake Castiel's body in its confident stance. You'd think after so many years he wouldn't be effected by this. “That was the plan. I’d rather have you, though,” he says, tossing in a wink at the end. 

That earns an eye roll from Cas, who takes the few steps across the room he needs to close the distance between he and Dean. He smooths his fingers into the short hairs at the nape of his lover's neck, pulling him in for a short kiss. He then spins him around and pushes him out of the room. "I'll be down in a minute!" 

Eventually, Dean makes it downstairs. He puts on the coffee and tosses some bacon in the oven, moving on to some special crepes for Cas. He's finishing up scrambled eggs when two strong arms slither their way around his waist. 

Castiel sighs contently in Dean's ear and presses a kiss to his neck. "Is that a peanut butter and jelly crepe?" He asks, nodding towards the plate Dean's adding eggs to. 

Dean leans back into the warmth pressed against him. "Sure is. Bacon, eggs, and coffee too." He turns the stove off and sets the plate on the counter. He turns around in Cas’ arms to face him, and leans in for a peck on the lips, then another which he presses to the top of his head, before ruffling his hair and slipping away. "You look nice today, Angel," he adds. They sit across from each other at the table and Cas continues to squint at Dean. "What?" He mumbles over a mouthful of bacon. 

"What do you have planned? Did you already do something? What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did something?" He really hadn't done anything. 

"Okay, so you have something planned," Cas states, not taking his eyes off of Dean as he cuts into his crepe. 

"Come on, man, I'm just being a good boyfriend. I like doing things for you." That part is true. "No plans or ulterior motives here." That part is not true, seeing as the entire goal for this morning is to distract Cas from his devious plan. 

It seems to work, as Cas just huffs and goes back to devouring his eggs. "You could tell me just about anything with that pretty face of yours and I'd be inclined to believe you. And, the food doesn't hurt. You're lucky you're a good cook."

"And hot. You definitely said I was hot," Dean points out, with a donnish smile which makes his green eyes glow. As if he hadn't just stated the obvious. That got him that signature eye roll, the size of Texas, from Castiel.

Cas finishes his breakfast and heads to his car to leave for work. Hesitantly, he peers through the window. He needs to make sure Dean hadn't reciprocated his recent play before opening the door. Throwing his bag across the seat, he turns back to the man he's been doubting all morning. "You know, It's very disconcerting to know that you'll be here alone all day. I feel that this whole bone war may be getting out of hand." Which, is one of the truest things Cas has said all day. But, to be fair, it was him who filled Dean's most prized possession with a hundred little skeletons and a note that said "your move, asshole. With love, Castiel." Well, his move it is, and move he shal. 

With Cas gone and Charlie on the way, Dean is crawling out of his skin with excitement. He had gathered every skeleton used thus far and placed them in an uncomfortably large pile in the living room. In total there were about a hundred and fifty forearm sized skeletons at his disposal. But, to pull this off, Dean needs at least a hundred more. Maybe even two hundred. And yes, as an adult man he realizes that this is an irresponsible waste of time and money. But, as the love drunk child and current Bone War soldier he really is, it's worth it.

Now, two hours later, he and Charlie are in their tenth and final store. "Dude, how much longer? As fun as this is, I really want to get this show in the road. I hate driving around," Charlie whines, crossing her arms for emphasis. 

Dean chuckles and drops an armful of decorations into their basket. "I just need a few extra decorations to put up. Spider webs or somethin'. And you're not even driving, I am."

"Yes, I'm sure Castiel will love spiderwebs strung up all over the house. Isn't he terrified of spiders?"

"Charlie, they're not real spider webs. Won't even be any fake spiders in ‘em. 'S for added effect. Gotta make sure everything’s perfect." 

"Okay, but I'm cutting you off here. I'm leaving with or without you, Winchester!" She yells, hopping on the back of the cart and slowly rolling away. 

"Again, you can't leave, I'm driving!"

At long last, they make it back to the house and unload every last piece of halloween decor they, Dean, bought. Now, it begins. Charlie starts removing tags and Dean starts getting things in place. They move as quickly and efficiently as possible, until Charlie is laying on the living room floor with the little black ball of fur Dean calls a dog laying on her chest. "Was that it? Was that the last thing?" She asks of the final skeleton Dean is hanging, sitting up in excitement. 

Salem's tail starts wagging a mile a minute, and he runs figure eights through Dean's legs. Dean spins around with a smile that shows off every inch of his pearly whites, a glimmer of pride in his emerald eyes. He bends to pick up the dog and steps over to Charlie where they look around and admire their handiwork. Well, Dean's handiwork. "Yep, all done. Now, we wait."

"Actually, I have a date tonight. So, you wait. Please let me know what he says, because this is seriously epic," Charlie replies, grabbing her bag from the couch. 

Dean follows her to the door where she slips her shoes on and pulls him in for a hug. "Thanks for helping, Red. I'm totally winning this thing."

"No problem, this was awesome. And you know I love hanging out with you, even if you're the most extra person I know. Now, I gotta go. Got a beautiful lady waiting for me. Peace out bitches!" She then quickly leans down to kiss Salem on the head and whispers "sorry Salem, you're not a bitch. I love you, okay, bye!" Before running to her car. 

Maybe ten minutes later, Dean hears a car door shut outside the house. Knowing it's Cas, he tries his best to sit patiently and wait in the kitchen so he doesn't ruin the initial reaction. Hardly controlling his shaking leg and the teeth worrying his bottom lip, he stays seated until he hears Castiel's keys jingling outside the door. 

He's up, however, almost immediately when he hears Cas screech from the doorway. He moves so fast it only takes four steps to get through the kitchen and around the corner where Cas is screaming his name; and not the way he likes. 

"Cas?? What happened? Are you okay?" He asks, before even getting around the corner to really look at his boyfriend. 

"Oh my God, Dean! Get it off!" Cas begs. 

"Get what off?" Dean is watching in bewilderment, as Cas is frantically flailing his arms and spinning around. 

"The spider web! Oh God, it's in my hair. There are spiders in my hair! Dean!" Castiel is nearly in tears, trying to rip away the web which is now wrapped around his head. 

Finally, Dean understands. On one hand, he feels horrible for not being able to control his laughter. On the other, it's hilarious. "Baby, calm down, there's no spiders," he manages to say. 

"Dean, there is definitely a spider web spun around my head right now and spiders live in webs, so please! Hurry!” He's nearly screaming now, and fighting off Salem who is very concerned and jumping at his feet. 

"It's a fake web Cas! And no real or fake spiders are in it, I promise," Dean explains, taking pity on the man in front of him, trying to help unravel him from the web. 

When he's completely out, Cas turns in a huff and pouts at Dean with glossy eyes. "Well, I guess at least I know what you were up to today. I have to say that that was not what I was expecting, and it was a little weak Winchester. You can do better."

Dean barks out a laugh. "Dude, come on! You were crying, I think I did good!" Even better than good, because that was not part of the plan. 

"I did not cry! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be heading to bed now. You know, the place where you won't be getting any ass tonight?" Cas slips past Dean, picking his jaw up off the floor as he passes through the entry way.

The second he lays eyes on the living room, Dean thinks he finally learns what "shock" sounds like. Now, it's Cas' turn to grab his own jaw from the floor. 

Dean saunters over to Cas, slipping an arm around his waist and taking another look at what he spent his day doing. "Well, Angel, you said it was my move. I thought I'd take it a step further, and make it the final move. I uh, also got you a tiny white flag. You know, for your surrender," he says, pulling a small white flag from his back pocket and handing it to Cas , who has yet to even blink. 

Though, anyone might have that reaction if they came home to see that the entire first floor of their home, including the ceiling and any furniture, was covered in skeletons of all sizes. 

There are at least a hundred miniature skeletons covering the couch and ottoman, large skeletons bordering the walls which are covered in the same mid sized skeletons the war has consisted of up to this point. The sink is filled, the basket by the T.V. which once held blankets is filled, there are skulls all over the ceiling and tiny skeletons hanging down. They are, for lack of a better description, everywhere. 

"How?" Is all Cas can manage. Then, "when?" And then another, "how?"

"Oh Castiel, a master never reveals his secrets." Dean winks and pushes the flag directly into Cas' hand. 

He grasps the flag, but waves it without looking because he can't take his eyes off the house. Eventually, he finds it in him to form words. "Okay. You win. This is...this. Wow. How did you even have time to do this? What store had this many skeletons? The ones on the couch are so small!"

"I had a little help from Charlie. But, really she just rode around with me all day and played with Salem when we got home. I honestly couldn't wait to see the look on your face when you saw it, and it was great, but seeing you get caught in that web was awesome. And I didn't even plan that."

"Oh, ha ha. Don't talk about webs anymore, you know I hate spiders. I feel like they're crawling all over me right now. I need a shower," Cas grimaces. He takes a few steps then turns back. "You coming?"

Dean chuckles and follows him upstairs, where in hindsight, he should've hidden more skeletons. He heads straight into the bathroom to wait for Cas while he grabs some clothes. He starts unbuttoning his flannel, when he hears another screech from the bedroom. He peeks out and sees Cas crouched over something in the corner. Dean squints, but can't tell what he's looking at. As he walks closer he asks "is that a hairball? Didn't we just sweep in here?"

"Very funny Dean. I know it's a fake rat. You already got me twice, you can sto- did it just move?" He grabs Dean and they both hop away from the rat in the corner. 

"Are you sure it's a rat?"

"I think it's a rat."

“Is it dead?”

“It just moved!”

"What are we going to do?"

They're holding each other tightly, glancing back and forth wide eyed from the rat to their partner. "I love you," Cas whispers, fear filling his beautiful blue eyes. 

"I love you too, but don't say it like we're gonna die." Dean gulps and without letting Cas go, he leans a little closer to the animal when it finally stops twitching. If it were even possible for his eyes to get wider, they did. He jumps back and scream-whispers, "is that a fucking bat?"

"A what? Dean, it's a rat. Why would it be a bat?"

"Why would either of those things be up here? Whatever, just, don't move. I'll grab a clear container so we can trap it."

"What?!" Cas shrieks, gripping Dean even tighter. "Don't leave me with the rat bat!"

"I'll be right back, baby, hold on," he promises, peeling Castiel's fingers from his arm. 

In the blink of an eye Dean is back, and after a quick game of paper scissors rock, he’s the one inching closer to what he thinks is a bat. He throws the container on the thing, and backs away immediately. Now feeling safer, he and Cas come up to it to get a better look. 

"What the fuck, is that a bat?" Cas exclaims, earning an ‘I just said that, dumbass,’ glare from Dean. 

“Doesn’t matter, it’s dead. Thank God,” Dean sighs. 

"Okay, I think I've had my fill of surprises for the day. Or month. Maybe we should get that thing out of here, and then skip halloween this year so I don't literally have a coronary." Cas wraps his arms around Dean, pillowing his head against his chest. 

Dean buries his face in the raven mop atop Castiel's head and smiles. "I agree. How's a hot bath sound instead of a shower?" 

Cas hums against Dean's chest. After a beat, he leans back and says, "we should probably get the skeleton out of the drain first, though."


End file.
